How do you tell someone, I've got Cancer?

It can be one of the most difficult aspect of dealing with chronic illness and not finding the right place and time can amplify the slightest inclination toward low self esteem beyond all proportions:   ,

I woke last night from a bad dream where I relived an experience starting 5 years ago. I got up and wrote a note which would never be read. I guess a kind of message in a bottle:

I just woke from a nightmare. It was about how we met. I know that you found me difficult to understand. I had several big problems. The worst however was yet to come. On the day I was diagnosed I remember that you stepped into my path. I couldn't tell you my news. I felt weak, I told you I had to go. I think you were offended.

I was trying to face my circumstances with dignity. Not wanting to present as a victim. At the same time, I never needed someone to talk to as much before in my life.

I was alone each time we met. You were always with friends. I overheard one of them comment about me, She said "he's probably married"
It was a year after we met that I got my first good news. The first stage of remission. I bumped into you again, you were alone it seemed. Now I was ready to share my good news and reveal what had been so difficult to say.

You had a lot of things to do in that badly chosen moment. Just returning from working abroad, you had divorce papers to post. You said "I don't have time". You told me that 4 times in our brief conversation. We haven't spoken since and I know you don't use the internet. So you'll never know what I wanted to say.